Tonight I was let out of class early on account of a massive homework assignment that should be started.... now! However, I just had to purge a little joy before I get back to the grind.
I decided to take the long way home tonight. The long way always includes a drive past the beach via Catalina to the Esplanade and back up Avenue I. None of those streets are really relative to this blog, I just like the names.
As I'm driving, I'm listening to a mix CD Suzy made for me. It's a joyous CD full of songs I could, and have, played over and over again. Frou Frou was the tune of the moment. Her voice is the equivalent of an angel from outerspace, or raindrops bouncing off of a harp. Beautiful and fascinating. Glorious and painful--in a good way. Although it was chilly out, I wound down my windows to smell the salted air and wake me up a bit from my classroom stupor. I inhaled and breathed in the ocean, but was pleasantly surprised by the scent of someone's fireplace. Now that right there is the smell of warmth and contentment; I imagine it's a universal smell, that everyone feels the same way about it.
All of the sudden while I was driving, smelling the air, listening to the music, seeing the vast darkness of the ocean laced with white waves, I was overcome. Overcome by everything. The curve of the road, the blink of the stop lights in tune with the music, the quiet zen of parked cars and lone joggers, the Pacific breeze coming in the passenger window. All of the sudden I felt (I imagine) like a small child--amazed at everything all at once. Wanting to laugh and cry and scream at the same time. I understood at that moment that I didn't need to "be" anywhere, or anything, or anyone. I just needed to inhale. It lead me to this question:
Do you think that often babies cry because of the beauty and magic in everything? Not because they're upset, but because they are happy beyond smiles and laughter? Because they can now smell the air, and hear voices, and see the blue sky and everything underneath it? They are so happy and so full of sensory delicacies that the only thing they can do is cry?
That would make sense to me.
THIS BLOG IS NOW OPEN FOR DISCUSSION
Pastor Katherine found these "lovely" greeting cards while cleaning out her office.
I can see how anyone would love to get one of these on their special day.
Nothing says "Happy Birthday To You!" like a herd of wild horses galloping through a field.
FYI: I distorted the color a tad bit, to minimize the suicidal brown that made up most of the picture.
On Praising Children
This morning was a rather hectic one, as Sundays usually are. Sissy Suzy was in town, and just that ALONE is enough to give one a panick attack (just kidding sweetums!). Anthony had to get financials done, I needed to prepare my lesson for nursery (super stressful, you know how critical 2-year-olds can be), make lunch, and the five of us needed to somehow all shower and get ready in an hour with only ONE bathroom. Sounds like a recipe for disaster...or just a pain in the arse. It being Sunday and all, I guess God looked down on us, shook his head, gave a little nod and winked, and everything worked out without anyone melting into a puddle on the floor. Maybe is was God...or Santa. I don't have all the answers.
The boys were cooperating wonderfully, getting showered, dressed, and primping their new hair-dos. Usually this doesn't happen. Usually there is some type of break down, a shoe lost or a button askew, I end up red-faced and screaming like the mother on "Malcom in the Middle" (Booooooooooyyyyyyyyyssssss!!!!!) and Anthony and I consider divorcing for the millionth time. It's like our special little Sunday tradition we hold dear to our hearts. Today the boys chose to stray from tradition. This being the case, I decided to praise them for their cooperation. I wanted to emphasis the fact that they had been listening to me like little gems--and following instructions. In my sweetest voice I said,
"You've really been great listeners this morning guys. It's made the morning go smoothly." (How you like me now, Dr. Laura?)
No response.
"Cody, Colton...."
"Cody! Colton!" I yelled to get them to hear me.
I knew they could hear me, because I could hear them. It's not like our house isn't 10 square feet total. Sound doesn't have a problem travelling in our house.
"Boooooooooyyyyysssss!" I yelled again.
No reply.
"Cody, Colllllllllltonnnnn!"
Finally,
"Yeah, what? What Mom?"
In my sweet voice I said, "I just wanted to thank you two for being such good listeners this morning. It's really made the morning go smoothly." I felt deja vu, like I had
just barely told them that.
No response. Nothing........finally......
"Huh? What?" was their reply.
"Uhhh, nothing. Forget it guys."
And that's why you don't praise your children.
The End.
Do As I'm Doing
My dear, sweet lil' sissy is coming to visit me two-dee! For a weekend, I won't feel like such a shut-in. HAR!
Now, Nichole and Michele must follow her example. I'll pick you up at the airport!
Hearts and Happy Freitag!
A Mother Q and A
The following are some answers I sent for the upcoming book
"Real Moms Speak". Enjoy!
• What do you wish you had known about being a mother before you had your child(ren)? I wish I had know that all the books I read, and all the parents I talked to, and all the parenting programs on television I watched, weren’t actually going to prepare me for parenting as much as I thought they would. What I realized (about eight years into being a mother) is the majority of what you learn as a parent is through your own experiences. There aren’t many books that will teach you exactly, “What to do when you feel like throwing your child over a bridge.” You just figure that stuff out on your own.
• How has motherhood changed you? Well, first of all—my hips are wider. There are strange marks all over my stomach, thighs, and BOOBS (oh the humanity!), and my eyes have their bags packed for some exotic vacation that I’m still waiting for. Aside from the physical changes, motherhood has changed me by increasing my patience one-million times what it originally was. Motherhood has also turned me into someone who can: tolerate tantrums at insane decibel levels, eat food off of a child’s plate like some type of primitive scavenger, and give like I never thought I could give before.
• What one piece of advice were you given before becoming a mom that has stuck with you the most? My mother once told me that when my older children are crying and throwing tantrums, and I am at the point of jumping in my car and driving until it runs out of gas (sans children)—that I should just imagine my children as infants or toddlers that are in need of something and just don’t know how to express it. It made me realized that although my children aren’t babies anymore, they still aren’t fully grown emotionally and mentally in a lot of ways. That advice has taught me to listen more to what my children are trying to tell me that they need—instead of just ignoring it and hoping the behavior will go away.
• What books would you recommend for moms-to-be to read before their babies are born? “The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy”
“What to Expect When You’re Expecting”
“Your Pregnancy Week by Week”
Anything else trashy, erotic, interesting, or educational. Read up, because once the child is born—you won’t get much time to indulge in leisurely reading.
• What do you wish you had known about labor that no one told you? Nobody told me how painful episiotomies are after birth. Normally, I laugh a lot---but I tried not to for a while after my pregnancy. The pain was excruciating! I’m sure people got a kick out of trying to make me laugh, and watching my painful attempts at suppressing my giggles. Humor has never hurt so much!
• What do you wish you had known about the first months of motherhood that no one told you? I wish I had known that the first few months of motherhood were similar to a drug induced hallucination. If I had known that, I would have written more down about my first few months of motherhood. All I have now of those months are hazy recollections and some flashbacks.
• What do you remember about the first days after the birth of your child(ren)? I remember that I couldn’t tell them apart. They looked so similar that for a few days after they were born, we kept the hospital wrist tags on them so we didn’t mix them up by mistake. I didn’t want to be the reason they forever had an identity crisis.
• What support systems helped you most as a new parent? Which ones do you recommend every new mom seek out? Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mother-in Law, Mother-in Law, Mother-in Law, Mother-in Law, Mother-in Law, Mother-in Law, Mother-in Law, husband.
I recommend seeking out doting grandparents first, then doting (childless) aunts and uncles, then girlfriends.
• What do you enjoy about being a mom? I enjoy knowing that every morning I wake up; I have an important purpose in life. I enjoy hearing the word “Mom” repeated 1000+ times a day (honest). I absolutely enjoy teaching my children, and learning from them.
• What parts of being a mom have been better than you expected? Watching my children grow and develop into unique individuals is much more rewarding than I ever imagined it to be. Naps have also been much more rewarding than I expected.
• What was your greatest fear about motherhood before the birth of your child(ren)? What happened to this fear after the birth of your child(ren)?I was afraid that somehow, some way, I would forget to feed my children and they would starve to death. I used to have dreams about this, and I would wake up panicked and scared of the fact that I, a mere mortal, was going to be responsible for the life of another human being. After the birth of my children I realized that no way, no how, those babies were going to starve. They were like little hungry alarm clocks that woke up every two hours to be fed. I also realized that Enfamil wouldn’t let my babies starve either. That was comforting.
• At what point after having your child(ren) did it hit you that your life had changed forever?I think I realized that my life had changed forever when, shortly after I gave birth, I looked down at my once flat stomach and watched it jiggle like a bowl of fleshy jell-o. My body had never done anything like that before, so who knew what the rest of my life had in store for me?
• Up to this point, what is your best memory as a mother? Watching my boys shoot hoops last night while the sun set. I didn’t play with them; they just wanted me to watch. I hope that they’ll want me to watch them play for years and years.
• How is your child(ren)'s personality different than you anticipated? How have you dealt with this? I never anticipated my children’s personalities—I didn’t need to. I felt they each had personalities all their own before they were even born. Although they do surprise me from time to time (by dressing up in my heels), they seem to have a long time ago established who they were.
• Who has been your greatest teacher when it comes to motherhood? Dr. Phil. I know, he’s not a mother—but he’s a kick-ass parent!
• How close do you live to your family, and how has this helped or hindered you as a mom? When my children were first born, my family was very close—just miles away. It helped me immensely when I was a young mother needing naps, a single parent needing date nights, and a student trying to cram for exams. I never felt hindered by my family being near by. I have since moved hundreds of miles away from my family, and I miss the love and support they so freely gave to me and my children.
• What kind of help did your have from family or friends right after the birth of your child(ren)? If you had another child, how would you like that to change? I got unbelievable help from my parents, in-laws, and siblings. Without them I feel I may have not made it to the ripe old age of 27—and my children may have not made it to the ripe old age of 8.
How has your relationship with your friends changed since you became a mother? What friends?
• In what ways do you feel society hinders you from being the best mother you can be? How do you deal with that? I feel that society hinders mothers by presenting to us unrealistic expectations of what a “good mother” is. Most mothers don’t look great in a swimsuit months after giving birth. Most mothers can’t afford high-priced SUVs and designer sunglasses. Most mothers don’t always have the time to cook balanced, nutritious meals. Most mothers aren’t 100% fulfilled in their role as “mother” and sometimes feel lost.
I deal with all of the above by turning off the television.
Colton just told me that...
"Grandparents are better than parents--no offense."
My heart hurts. Just kidding, I would probably agree with him if 3/4 of my grandparents weren't DEAD!
fillers
For all you impatient monkeys out there that are sick and tired of looking at my "bargain bin" photo-shopped face, I am writing a *filler blog.
The topic of my filler blog: "Bands/Musicians I Want to See Live Before I Die" (In No Particular Order)
1. Gorillaz
2. Tori Amos
3. Fiona Apple
4. New Order
5. Doc Martin
6. Paul Oakenfold
7. Jamiroquai (sp?)
8. Chemical Brothers
9. The Prodigy
10. Faithless
11. Rabbit in the Moon
Bands I've seen and would see again:
Wilco
Depeche Mode
Moby
The Cure
Beck
Ben Folds
Morrisey
The Crystal Method
(I'm sure there's more but I'm too lazy to remember)
Well, I think that's off to a good start. I'm starving so I think I'm going to make myself some wheat toast and see what's on BRAVO!
How you like me now?
*Charise and Charise's affiliates apologize for this lame-o blog. Charise does not assume any responsibilty for boredom and lack of inspiration resulting in the reading of this blog. Charise and Charise affilites aren't registered trademarks of the Charise Company Blogcasting System United, Inc.
SNORT!
Welcome to Burn-Out-ville, Population: You!
So all of you are going to think I'm some sort of wimpy, weak, placid, jell-o mold of a human being for writing this...but...I'M TIRED!
I started work again this week, and although I'm only working a mere 12 hours--I feel burnt out. Maybe it's because work is not my only plight. When I really think about it, work is the easy part of my week. It's when I start driving all over Los Angeles County for sports practices, that's where I begin to wither.
Here's the week:
Monday: Batting cages
Tuesday: Therapy (another sport all together)
Wednesday: Baseball practice
Thursday: Basketball practice
Friday: Team Parent meeting for baseball & Third Grade field trip
For a gal who really doesn't like sports, it sure is ironic that I have ended up becoming the poster girl for "Soccer Moms" everywhere. I have an SUV, a couple of kids, and a white collar husband. I have it all. And what do I get for having it all? Sick. And a canker on my tongue. That's what I get.
On top of all that's going on this week, Ant has been working overtime so 75% of this week I've spent reverting to "single mom mode". This consists of the following:
1. Lots of ignoring fights (If you don't cry, you're not hurt and if you're not hurt, I don't care)
2. Lots of crappy snacks (Yesterday the boys' after school snack was a large kaiser roll. That's it. Today they got some cookie dough.)
3. Lots of Nickelodeon. Nick is like Mommy's little helper. Without Nickelodeon, I would be buying (and drinking) mini bottles by the case. Nickelodeon is the ghetto version of proper daycare. For all I know, Nick could be brainwashing my children to publish religious cartoons in popular newspapers--I don't really care, they're quiet and that's all that matters right now.
4. Lots of "ignore it and it will go away" thinking. Ignore the boys homework, it will go away. Ignore the phone ringing, it will go away. Ignore the fighting and the screams, they will go away. Ignore the dishes, they will go away. Ignore the dirt on the kitchen floor, it will go away. My mantra is "It will all go away."
5. Lots of Fresca. Why? Well, it's just darn delicious. Suzy got me hooked!
So here I am, tired and on the verge of illness. I should just go to bed, why aren't I in bed? Funny you should ask...
My Name is Earl and The Office, of course! I may be sick and tired, but I haven't lost my sense of humor or my self-indulgent television viewing habits. Now pass the Fresca!
Charise, I'll do for you what I did for Nichole.
I grow weary of viewing that picture of Sea Bright, so I'm going to help you get your blog on.
Fill in the blanks: Remember, there are no wrong answers only wrong empty spaces because you didn't put an answer.
In the midst of my daily _____ I encountered the _______est _______ EVER!!! My reaction was that of pure _________. What could I do but _________ and hope for ________! What a _________ universe we live in! How do I explain _________ to my kids?
The Sea Bright
Why I'm a Horrible Mother Part 2,637...and counting...
If you know me, you'll know how I like to burn candles. I can't stand the smell of a musty house. I burn Salt City, Yankee, Pier One, Glade...hell, I've even been known to burn those cheap near-scentless candles they sell at Big Lots! I'm a candle whore I guess. If candlestickmen were still around, I might consider going polygamist. Just might.
Anywhoo, I was burning a very deliciously scented "Snickerdoodle" candle in the front room this morning. I made sure not to burn the candle on the coffee table, because that would make it too tempting for the boys to blow it out. (They are out of school again today, I think this is the 40th "Teacher Prep Day" we've had this year! Damn Unions). So, I placed it in the corner where it wouldn't be so conspicuous. Well, as the scent began to waft through the house, I smelt another smell mixed in with the snickerdoodle. Was it plastic? WAS IT PLASTIC!!!!
I quickly headed to the source only to hear one of my little pyros say, "Hurry! Blow it out!"
"What are you doing!" I screamed. It was obvious what they were doing when I saw the distorted, limp shapes of what used to be staws dangling from their hands.
"Fire is not a joke! It's not a toy! It's not a joke it's not a toy you could, we could, DIE! Burn! Not a toy!" I spewed.
I yanked the "straws" away and threw them in the trash. Not convinced that I had gotten through to them I thought of another way to put the point across. I went Google and searched for "burn victims."
Yes. I showed the boys pictures of "what happens to you when you play with fire." I almost got dizzy looking at them myself, but I forced them to look at the pictures until I was sure my point had been taken. It took about 10 seconds until the boys were dead silent. Damaged forever, but I think they understood what I was trying to tell them.
FIRE IS EVIL AND WILL HURT YOU BEYOND YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATION!!!!!!
I know, I shouldn't have used fear as a teaching tool. What can I say, I'm a bad mother.
Reminiscing (another blogette)
Nick, do you remember when we saw Moby at Wiltern and they played "Lift Me Up"? I think that was one of the greatest nights of my life. Even afterwards in the parking lot was memorable. I can still taste the 25 cent grape soda.
Suzy, do you remember when we saw Wilco at the Wiltern and he his encore went so long and my feet were hurting so bad from the high-heeled boots I wore and the scene was sickeningly, beautifully, painfully coooool. I can still taste the 3.25 Diet Cokes.
Michele, remember when we saw Garbage at the House of Blues and I was underage but you still let me "sneak" off of your Long Island iced teas? Then, afterwards when we went to the bar and a pimp came in with a gun looking for his beeyotch? I can still taste the vomit in my mouth from throwing up after the pimp left.
Now girls--it's time to share some of your favorite memories!
Oh, it BURNS! (A bloglette)
Charise, thanks again for causing me to shoot Fresca out of my nose yesterday. It was ever so much fun!
