I decided to take the long way home tonight. The long way always includes a drive past the beach via Catalina to the Esplanade and back up Avenue I. None of those streets are really relative to this blog, I just like the names.
As I'm driving, I'm listening to a mix CD Suzy made for me. It's a joyous CD full of songs I could, and have, played over and over again. Frou Frou was the tune of the moment. Her voice is the equivalent of an angel from outerspace, or raindrops bouncing off of a harp. Beautiful and fascinating. Glorious and painful--in a good way. Although it was chilly out, I wound down my windows to smell the salted air and wake me up a bit from my classroom stupor. I inhaled and breathed in the ocean, but was pleasantly surprised by the scent of someone's fireplace. Now that right there is the smell of warmth and contentment; I imagine it's a universal smell, that everyone feels the same way about it.
All of the sudden while I was driving, smelling the air, listening to the music, seeing the vast darkness of the ocean laced with white waves, I was overcome. Overcome by everything. The curve of the road, the blink of the stop lights in tune with the music, the quiet zen of parked cars and lone joggers, the Pacific breeze coming in the passenger window. All of the sudden I felt (I imagine) like a small child--amazed at everything all at once. Wanting to laugh and cry and scream at the same time. I understood at that moment that I didn't need to "be" anywhere, or anything, or anyone. I just needed to inhale. It lead me to this question:
Do you think that often babies cry because of the beauty and magic in everything? Not because they're upset, but because they are happy beyond smiles and laughter? Because they can now smell the air, and hear voices, and see the blue sky and everything underneath it? They are so happy and so full of sensory delicacies that the only thing they can do is cry?
That would make sense to me.
posted by Anonymous @ 8:35 PM
6 Comments:
Waaaaaaaaaaaah, wahhhhhhhhhhh,
That's how much I loved this blog!! WAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
You're mocking me and my sappiness, aren't you?
You're mocking me! Mock me....
I'll mock you, when you least expect it!
Sleep with one eye open Missy...one eye....open.
Charise - this was amazing...I felt totally like I was there with you at that moment- and even in my prozac state I have tears in my eyes...BRAVO! I havn't had a moment of clarity like that in dayzzzz...
Heart you!
I wasn't mocking, I was trying to incorporate the idea you were expressing. For reals, baby. I truly loved this blog! I had a similar feeling when I was riding the beach cruiser and staring out at the waves.
I'm going to start calling you hemmingway.
Charise, you take my breath away. Why, why, why do you not do this for a living? Amazing- don't know what else to say.
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