Before I Get Stoned on 6 Ft. Under...
I just wanted to pimp the perks of donating blood:1. Why sweat off a pint of sweat on the treadmill when you can bleed a pint of blood while lounging on a plastic coated chaise?
2. When you give blood, you get a high without drugs! Yay for natural highs!
3. All the free Cheetos and juice your crazy heart desires!
4. You can imagine that you're living in the 1800's and you're not donating blood, you're ridding yourself of evil spirits and airborne toxins!
5. Did I mention you lose a pint without having to move a muscle?
6. Engorged self-righteousness. I mean, seriously, I just gave my blood for *no reason at all to some person(s) of which I will never know. It doesn't get much more charitable than that, now does it?
7. In addition to the free Cheetos and juice, I got a free coupon for a pint of ice cream at Baskin-Robins. I would bleed myself 24 hours a day seven days a week for a free pint of ice cream!
8. In addition to imagining #4 above, I can pretend like I'm a dark, thick-eyeliner-wearing sadomasochist that enjoys bleeding just because it hurts. Deep.
9. You get to help someone in need.
*I guess Cheetos and juice is a reason, but whatever.
posted by Anonymous @ 9:51 PM
9 Comments:
If you reaaaaally want to help someone... donate some of your eggs! And they will pay you up to $4,000 dollars that you can use to go shopping!!!
Hope you got a nice qualified technician. I have ended up with huge bruises after a couple of collection attempts....
Don't you wish they would let you take a pint (of blood... not ice-cream) home to play with?
Oh, now I'm going to have to go and donate the next time it comes around...thanks to my newly resurrected conscience...
Crunchy or puffy Cheetos? This is important. No crunchy, no blood.
I do love company blood drives. Not only do you get all the perks listed, but also you get to lounge and watch TV, eat the said juice and snacks all on paid, company time! And if you have leetle vains like me, this can take up to 45 minutes! Yeehaw!
Crunchy!
None of those puffy 1980's cheetos for me. Nossir.
You know, I've always been partial to the puffed cheetos. They melt in your mouth, dontya know.
When I think 1980s I think of those "Cheez Balls" that came in a cannister. They were full of cheesy, bally goodness.
Cheesy, bally goodness...sounds like a description for a porn film.
I grow weary of this. Please post a new blog soon. Even if it is just a bloglette.
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