Inhale, Exhale--Inhale...........
Utah. Utah, Utah, Utah. For some people, Utah is a place to go and ride mountain bikes—EXTREME mountain bikes. Or ski. For others, it’s Mecca for the Mormon culture, which so many people have blogged or written about already. Totally old hat, so I’m not going to go in to that.For me, Utah was home. Now Utah is just becoming the place I have to go to be punished for not living up to my expectations. If I had lived up to my expectations, I would be too busy running my successful law practice that my mother would understand why I couldn’t be there to help her move. Alas, there is no law practice—or law school for that matter. Hell, I haven’t even made it through JR College! This is why I am heading to Utah this weekend to dig through boxes of “memorandum” (a.k.a: shit). Personally, I would rather be whipped with a cat o’ nine tails. A cat o’ nine tails made out of burning metal. Just kidding, but seriously folks—I’m not looking forward to this. For more information on my visit and my duty to my mother, please visit MOMMY DEAREST. That will give you and idear of what I’m diving in to.
On the other hand, I’m going to get to spend some time with my two sissies. One is older, one is younger. The older one is a version of my former self: Free spirited, loves alcohol, and won’t be tied down. The younger one is a version of me that I should be, but never will: Kind, sweet, attends all her church meetings, never smoked (except for that one time Michele and I tricked her in to smoking—remember Suzy?) I think it’s a good thing I’m in the middle of those two—I like to think of myself as balanced, although I’m sure they may think of me otherwise, especially since I was the bad influence on both of them in my younger years. Remember your first cigarette Nick? I do. Remember the house parties Suzy? I do.
So this weekend should be interesting with the three of us all together. Nick sitting on one of my shoulders in a sexy red devil outfit equipped with pitchfork and martini, Suzy sitting on my other shoulder in a cute, yet modest angel outfit eating a bagel with Philadelphia cream cheese spread on it. HAR! I can’t wait by golly!
A good time will be had by all, except when we’re at mom’s house.
To ZION!
posted by Anonymous @ 9:45 AM
3 Comments:
Butter your bread with Philly instead!!! I love being mentioned in your blogs, it makes me feel famous and significant!
I know - me too (even if it is reference to a quick trip to purgatory compliments of a one way first class ticket from me) Ha! Although I would say that I would rather have a martini in hell than be sober in mom's house. Here's to a good time - and load's of stories comming up I'm sure.
I am supremely delighted to hear that my sisters and other dear family members survived the relocation of our mother from the mouth of hell. I feel extremely lucky to have only suffered minor injuries myself from the experience.
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