Motherhussy

The Moses and the Hair

This morning Cody got into bed with me to snuggle and converse about life in general. The conversation begins:

"Mom, you know what's funny?" he asked.

"What?"

"Whenever we get together with Jimmy and Danny we always end up asking questions about each others’ religions."

Jimmy (9) and Danny (6) are Cody and Colton's good friends who belong to the Catholic Church. Not that this is uncommon in California, they actually have only one other friend that is Mormon here. Oh how I wish I had that childhood, maybe then I wouldn't have rejected religion in general at such an early age. But I digress.

"Oh, what kind of questions?" I asked, as I was dying to know how philosophical a bunch of kids under 10 could get.

"Well, did you know that Danny doesn't believe in Moses?"

"Uhhhhhhh...Danny doesn’t believe in Moses?"

"Yeah, the guy with permed hair holding a bible. Danny doesn’t believe in him."

"What? What guy with permed hair? What are you talking about?"

I was dying to know, because although I haven't really read much of the bible--I was pretty sure there was made no mention of Moses getting his hair permed.

"Yeah," Cody explained," there is a picture of him in your drawer."

"In my drawer?" Funny, I didn't recall having any pictures of biblical heros in my dresser drawer. Now, a Hustler vibrator I do have (unopened, mind you)--but no pictures of biblical heroes. None. Unless someone planted it...

"What picture are you talking about Cody?"

"Here, I'll show you," Cody said as he proceeded to pull open the top drawer of my dresser. I was hoping he didn't somehow unearth a photo of an ex-boyfriend and mistake him for some type of religious icon--because believe me, none of them deserve that type of credit!

"See, this picture..."

"Cody, what the!...That's a picture of Joseph Smith. Danny doesn't believe in Joseph Smith, that makes perfect sense." The Catholic Church would be a little messed up if all of the sudden they started believing in Joseph Smith.

What didn't make sense was:

1. Why was a picture of J. Smith in my dresser drawer? (Mom must have planted it years ago in the hopes that one day it would grace the walls of my home--not likely, much respect Mr. Smith, but currently I have NOTHING on my walls and I plan to keep it that way).

2. Why did J. Smith have a perm? His hair in said picture makes him look like some type of 80’s dream boat (sans the clothing from the 1800’s). Maybe God gave it to him as some sort of symbolic gift--but that's doubtful. My theory is that J. Smith must have sat under at least 100 rollers and 30 minutes of chemical bliss to get his hair that full bodied--no way is that natural!

Cody now knows that J. Smith is not Moses. I'm doing my part as a Mormon, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

posted by Anonymous @ 8:04 AM