Motherhussy

Because the Moon Was Phased Just So

So my last post mentioned something about the boys being rough with each other--oh, if I had only known what was in store for me as I mindlessly typed away.

Here's how it all went down:

Colton hid from Cody under Cody's blankets.
Cody, while looking for Colton "accidentally" slapped the blankets very, very, very hard.
Colton cried and became outraged.
In retaliation, Colton pushed the bunkbed ladder at Cody's face.
Bunkbed ladder hits Cody in the mouth, cutting his upper lip. (It actually ended up cutting that little slab of skin that connects your lip to your gums--that tab keeps you from being able to lift your upper lip over the tip of your nose. Cody can now pull his upper lip over the tip of his nose--do I live in a carnival or what?)
Cody falls to his knees in utter shock, dramatically holding his hands out in front of him to catch the blood coming from his mouth.
Cody is crying.
I come in the room and start crying.
Colton starts crying.
We're all crying.
I stop panicking and pull myself together. Get a cold washcloth and stick it on Cody's upper lip which is now swelling.
Cody keeps crying.
Colton keeps crying.
While the boys cry, I fanatically try to fit in some lesson about "One of these days someone is really going to get hurt, and how would you feel if you didn't have a brother anymore? You're brother is your best friend!" That type of lesson.
Boys were unresponsive to said "lesson" and kept crying.
Crying slowly subsided.
Color slowly came back to my face.
I force Cody and Colton to hug and apologize to each other. (I think this part actually hurt Cody more than his torn "lip flap thingy" did.)
I pour 5 oz. of vodka into a Fresca and stare at the wall for the rest of the night. (Hey, I can dream, can't I?)

So, I guess if my blogs are going to be indicative of what lies in my future, I should write more about winning the lottery or having large breasts and super white teeth--because I think I could handle that.

posted by Anonymous @ 6:22 PM