Motherhussy

Infested

Hi-dilly-hey!

I haven't posted a while for several reasons:

1. We left California to drop Cody and Colton off with their beer guzzling old man in Utah. What a trip that was, almost like something out of “Fear and Loathing.” Anthony was fairly certain that he was going to die on our trip to the desert for a few reasons. Not only does my mother lack ESPN on her television, but the temperature was well above the balmy 75 degrees we experience EVERY DAMN DAY here in Redondo. Oh, and there are mosquitoes and spiders in Utah—lots of them. So, Anthony was convinced he was going to die from one of these elements: boredom, heat, or spider/mosquito bites. If I had a dime for every time he cried out, “Get them off of me!” I would have enough cash to buy two Spicy Jack Quesadillas from Del Taco. Luckily, my delicate little flower made it out of Utah alive. Now me, I had a great time there—if only I could have stayed longer and visited some of my old haunts. Mosquitoes be damned. I guess I'm heartier from years of living in Utah with its blazing heat, nostril freezing cold, and deadly spiders. Anyway, we dropped the boys off and came back to the West Coast so we could…..
2. Move! We moved from our apartment to a cute little beach house a couple of blocks away. During the move our DSL got shut off and didn’t get turned back on until today. My fingers have been twitching uncontrollably, dying to dance a word tango on the plastic of the keyboard. Finally they can get the workout they deserve. Okay, so the house is a-gosh-dang-dorable! It must have been built around the 50’s or 60’s; at least that’s what I gather from the closet space. It’s about a fifth of what we had at our old place, but it’s a comparable trade-off. The house is complete with wood floors, crown molding, and an old white and chrome O’Keefe and Merritt gas stove. It matches my old chrome breadbox perfect! All I need is a bright, stiff cotton dress and a short curly hair-do and you would think you were walking in to June Cleaver’s house. (You would think that until I opened up my perfectly lipsticked mouth and spew a slurry of obscenities at you for walking into my house without knocking.)

So anyway, that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. Oh, one more exciting thing about the new place. It has fleas! Yes, fleas. Judas-T Priest! Just when I start getting prideful of my new cute house, God has to infest it with fleas. I’m guessing they were here before we moved in, because we never had them before. Honest. Apparently, in California, “cat fleas” are quite common. Yes, they’re common—that makes me feel so much less like trailer trash. GD Fleas. Mind you, I’ve only seen a few of them, and I’ve vacuumed like crazy this morning. Next, I think I’m going to boil the couch and all the bedding in a mixture of bleach and Chore Girl. I hope I can find a pot big enough. Good thing Anthony isn’t here for this, it would be paranoia all over again.

Time for another shower…

posted by Anonymous @ 1:37 PM