The Raisin Conspiracy--A Guest Blog
I know what this business with the raisins is all about. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. It's a dastardly conspiracy that reaches up to the highest levels of the United States government. The FBI is in on it, certainly, but it looks as though the CHP has been left out of the loop. Hence the conflicting orders.What am I talking about, you ask? This.
It's all a plot to get those damnable monstrosities from the 80's back into the American heart and mind! This truck driver was carting a load of genetically engineered raisins to a secret warehouse in San Ysidro where they were to go through some highly advanced chemical processes through which raisins are brought to life—Claymation style! Then they will wreak havoc by twiddling their fingers and singing tired old 60's soul songs. It will cause mass hysteria! I'm not sure why our government wants to do this, but I think it has something to do with the Rapture. Somehow.Think about it. You know I'm right.
—ICM
posted by Porter @ 3:15 PM
213 Comments:
I swear I did not steal this idea from meeshelleegirl. I wrote this before she posted her comment! I swear!
Based upon my faith in your integrity icm, I recant my accusation of plagiarism. LOL!!!
Raisin Rapture eh? The sheer evil of such a suggestion sends my spine into quivers! (reminds me of "prune penance" .... a completely unrelated condition due to unregulated snacking on Sunkist prunes while watching daytime television.... I will avoid the vulgarity of further explanation)
Ha! I knew those raisins were just sleeping in some "terrorist cell" waiting for their next move.
Yeah, their terrorist cell is housed in a giant red reproduction of a Sun-Maid raisin box.
As long as the do a remake of the Christmas special. I loved that so much!
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