To Add to the Horror
Just when I get over the whole Pimp Juice shocker, I get a call from the boys today in which they inform me how much fun they had at their friend D’s house last night. I asked them what was so much fun and apparently, in addition to playing on the Slip n’ Slide, they took turns aiming beebee guns at each other to see who had the best aim.
“Don’t worry Mom,” Cody explained, “we made sure to only shoot at each others backs so it wouldn’t hurt as bad.”
It’s taking so much restraint on my part keeping myself from jumping in the car, driving all night to Utah, so I can *shake the redneck out of the boys as fast as I can before it permanently sets in.
As soon as they get home, I’m putting them on a strict diet of organic fruits & veggies, hummus, whole grains, NPR, and play dates without weapons. It’s their only hope.
*The medical term for this is Shaken Redneck Syndrome
“Don’t worry Mom,” Cody explained, “we made sure to only shoot at each others backs so it wouldn’t hurt as bad.”
It’s taking so much restraint on my part keeping myself from jumping in the car, driving all night to Utah, so I can *shake the redneck out of the boys as fast as I can before it permanently sets in.
As soon as they get home, I’m putting them on a strict diet of organic fruits & veggies, hummus, whole grains, NPR, and play dates without weapons. It’s their only hope.
*The medical term for this is Shaken Redneck Syndrome
posted by Anonymous @ 4:11 PM
4 Comments:
buy posters for their room:
"Terry Gross wants YOU not to shoot BB guns!"
"Carl Cassel just says NO to Pimp Juice."
Ha haha...Levan.
Seriously, there has to be some sort of cultural boot camp you can send them to afterwards.
You are going to have to do Southern Californication on them. Exercise the evil spirits with yoga and male dance classes. Help them express themselves in "non-violent" ways. SAVE THE WHALES...
I think that you should interest them in learning some sort of intellect/logic games such as sudoku, crosswords, chess, scrabble etc. So then set it up so that they challenge Grizzly to a duel of the minds. Maybe his head would just explode and we could all rest easier at night. Heck, maybe hopscotch would do it.... B would just have a coronary over the perceived effeminite nature of "his boys".
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